Editing.

As I writer one of the hardest things I think I come across is editing my own work. I find it hard to  kill my babies. But essentially this is what you have to do as a writer right? I mean I have been recently wanting to submit some of my short stories to magazines. Editing the ones I have finished to make them polished and ready to submit is REALLY hard. So here's what I think I am going to do. I am going to post the short story in it's raw form than tomorrow or whenever I finish the short story editing. I'll post the new version. I don't know why I had the urge to do this. But I just do ok? Thank you for being so supportive. I appreciate it.  Anyway, I really really want to be better at story writing. I find it just as fun to write a story as I do a poem. But poems are much easier for me to complete. Mainly because they are so short.

I thought it would be a great idea to start submitting my short stories since it would be good as a writer to be accepted in more than one genre.  But I've found most of my short stories were half done. Now, this is even harder because I have to try to go back and see if I can get the same tone I wanted before. Also  a lot of my short stories I've come across were ones I wrote way way way long ago in the begining  stages of writing.

OY!

So the story I am going to post here is a story I wrote for a creative writing class. I am getting some help from my homegirl Sopphey. I really like the idea behind the story but when I wrote it. I was restricted and couldn't really move the entire story. So now that I can edit it all I want and wreck it apart I am going to do so:

I realize that is is a super long blog but thought i'd just share progress.

Oh and btw my novel is going awesomely. I am barreling though it. But alas I did not make it to the school so. I shall continue it as much as I can this year.

The City Gates 

It is a dismal and frosty evening. Here in country the snow falls on our window pane.  The frosty film on my window blocks our view. My hands are freezing swollen and cracked from the evening snow.  The fire in my home isn’t sufficient enough to keep my family warm. My nine children and my wife are all freezing too, but I promised them I would make enough money to purchase blankets to keep them warm. I also promised them I would get them food, but money is scarce, I barely have enough to get me into the city and back. But I must be a faithful husband and father and fulfill my promise. If that means I have to go to extreme measures to get them food I will do it. “Father?” my youngest child Peter questioned.

“Yes my son?”

“Do you have to go far into the city?”

“Yes, the city is where I buy blankets and food for us all” 

“Time for bed child” my wife Anna interrupted

I walked into my children’s bedroom but most of the children had already fallen asleep, they are lying with their arms around each other trying to keep themselves warm. The one blanket that my wife and I own we have given to the children to share.  I must leave the house before the morning, so I can arrive at the gates when they open. My wife she is down trodden and melancholy about me leaving the children and her alone. But my oldest son Yuri he is 11 years old and can protect the family with the shotgun I had bought him. The children will not know I am gone, expect for Peter, who had promised to keep the secret.  I can’t wait till I arrive with the blankets and food so I can see the smiling beams on the face of my children.

My wife knows of my departure, but will not kiss me goodbye, she feels it is too dangerous. “I must leave now, the morning will come soon,” I said. My wife is not looking at me tonight, she is beautiful and yet she refuses to let me touch her. “Oh Pavel, why must you leave the children and me alone, especially in these dangerous times” she paused. She finaly looked at me for the first time tonight, her eyes gleeming in the moonlight, pretty as ever.  “You know it is in the best intrest of you and the children I can not let my family starve.” She turned her head again. I grab her and turn her around so that I am face to face with her. I kiss her passoinatley she retracts at first then engages in the kiss firmly grabbing my cheeks. Our kiss stopped but she grabbed my hand and started to rub it as a tear fell from her eye. I took the hankerchief that was in my pocket and whiped it across her eyes. She smiled brefly. I kissed her forhead without saying a word she waved.

 I put on my cap and my coat and exited my home.  The dark clouds have now let out their rain. My faithful horse Vlad, will hopefully guide me to the gate by morning. The ride will be dreadful but in the end it will all be worth it. I place the saddle upon Vlad’s back and start to head on my journey. The roads are empty. The light rain fall has now turned into showers, and Vlad is starting to clip clop faster and faster. But we aren’t getting any further on the trail.  The city gates seem to be miles off, my estimations were off, I will not make it to the city by morning, I will have to take refudge in one of the smaller villages that I past. It will be the only way to make it to the city, but then my family will worry. I must push Vlad harder then he has ever been pushed before. I can see smoke from one of the villiages, I will stay there till there is light, then I will part and make my way into the city.

As I get closer to the village I am greeted by the cackle of an old woman. “Do you dare leave your family alone”? She spoke with an ear-splitting voice. I stopped Vlad causing him to whine in fear. “What did you say?” I respond She looked from underneath her tattered hood. “I know why you stop here” her face was covered in dirt and grease. I was afraid, my bones were shaking and I was now breathing heavily as my heart thudded against my chest. “Speak! I say”

 The old woman points toward the Inn. This was my intention to stay at the Inn and any resistant at the village would guess that a traveler late at night would want to make a rest at the Inn, so she could not be a witch, nor a gypsy fortune teller like I had so foolishly predicted. She was merely just a villager gone insane. I nodded politely to her as she reveled her decrepit mouth to attempt a smile. I placed Vlad on one of the poles and feed him a bit of hay that I found on the floor.

I walk into the inn and only a few faces including a young girl who couldn’t be more then 16 or 17 years old greet me. “May I help you traveler?” her voice is soft and gentle. “Yes I would like to spend the night here at the Inn, but I only have enough to spend at the market tomorrow” I say. She sighed. “I will ask my father, these are not good times for us, we are one to give a home to travelers but it is not usually for free” She left and I sat down at one of the many benches that were spread out in the room. The young girl came back with a brut of a man. He had hairy arms and a hairy face. “You traveler need a home for only one night?” he questioned. I nodded and lent my hand out for a handshake but he did not acknowledge it.  “Yes I will let you stay” he smiled big. 

I am shown my room for the night. I sleep well and in the morning I awake the sound of mooing cows.  I pack my bags but I am not hasty to thank the old brut and his daughter for the free board. As I walk downstairs, they are nowhere to be seen. I then walk outside, and the village is quiet. I hear voices, but they are muted Vlad is still alive but he seems to startled. Then as I walk toward Vlad I notice somebody was on the floor, it is the girl from the Inn she is bleeding from her stomach and unable to talk but still alive, next to her is her father, who is already dead, all four of his limps chopped off. She is crying with every tear comes a heavy breath. “Do not fear young girl I will take you to the city” I said. There are other members of the village that are lying dead or wounded. What could this mean? What is my fate? I thought. The old woman is lying lifeless with her arms and legs beside her.  My stomach is beginning to turn and I can barley walk with the young girl over my shoulder. The voices I hear are getting closer and closer. I hop on Vlad and hold the young dying girl in my arm; it is my duty as a citizen to save her life if I can. The city gates are not far, I hope she can manage to stay alive.  The cold wind is now breezing up against us, but the rain has stopped.  I hear clip clops following me and I turn back to see several men on horseback holding guns. I try to stay calm as we ride faster and faster, the girl slowly dying away.

I started my journey to get food for my family but now I am saving a fellow citizens life. My family would approve of my service but are probably scared just now that I have not returned with their blankets or their food.  The men on the horses are gaining on us, but I see the gates of the city are opening from a far. I hear a gunshot then I feel Vlad slow down and whine he falls to the ground knocking the girl and I off. I moan at his bullet wound that had been fired at his back. The men stop suddenly. I can see one of their faces. He is scared heavily across his face. “Do not hurt us, were are but citizens,” I say. My voice is muttered. Vlad has now passed away the bullet had kill him. The girl is still alive.

A single tear comes rolling down my face. “Men do not cry it is but a mere horse you pathetic swine,” the heavily scared man said. He comes closer to us I smell vodka on his breathe. “Stand down” I hear a voice say. It is strong and powerful yet young and undeveloped. I look over and see a solider, the girls eyes widened. “Brother you have come” The man was holding his sword; this battle would be foolish gunpowder against steel. But the scared men and the others dropped their weapons and turned back. I was confused. How could one solider have that much power over several men like that? It is impossible. He lifted Vlad up and his sister and I were able to crawl from underneath. I felt his hand come upon my shoulder. He did not say anything he lifted his sister and walked away, I was alone with Vlad now. I was able to show my suffering, my children cannot know of his terrible death.

I buried him in a place unmarked, but a memorable place, Vlad was like a close friend, but I must continue though the city gates to buy the fruit and blankets. Now that I was here in the city, I checked my pockets for the coins to purchase the items. Down trodden I walked into the market place with the bustling crowd, and found myself staring down a particular vendor. I walked to it and grabbed some fruit and a blanket hoping that the vendor would not notice. But then “Stop Thief” I heard those words and ran past people knocking them down. I heard the footsteps of guards following me.  I looked all around for a horse I could borrow or use.

Then I felt a hand tap my shoulder, it was the young solider. I got on hoping that he would take me back to my village and he did. I arrived home. I opened the door and walk through, I saw faces smiling and felt kisses upon my cheeks. I never felt so wonderful then I did at that moment. I pulled out the fruit that I had stolen and the blankets too. But then they looked outside and realize that Vlad was no more. “I had to trade him,” I said. The children’s faces drooped but I reassured them that he was in a better place.